Keith Rosen's Executive Sales Coaching Blog on Selling, Leadership, Management

Why Managers Don’t Ask Better Coaching Questions – Stop Coaching In Your Own Image

Mar 12, 2010 Executive Coaching, Sales Coaching, coaching for managers, coaching salespeople, management articles, training for managers

A few posts ago, someone posted a fair and relevant question which I thought was important enough to re-post front and center.

It was in reference this post: Coaching Questions Part 3 – Questions To Get People into Action That Drive Desired Results, which you can read here.

Here is her question and my response follows.

“Keith- I’m a huge fan of yours, let me say that first so you don’t get mad at me, but every single one of those questions above 1-12 would infuriate me if I ever had my vp of sales ask any of them. And I would feel dumb asking my reps too! I don’t get it.”

The truth be known, many managers don’t get it – at least not initially; until the blind spot is exposed and placed in their line of vision for them to see. And please keep in mind, their inability to see this blind spot has nothing to do with their acumen, experience, abilities, commitment to their team or intelligence and everything to do with one of the common traps that management has tendency to fall into which is due to the fact that coaching is often counterintuitive.

Here was my response:

Thanks for the comment! Much appreciated. Why would I get mad? Keep your comments coming! I don’t expect everyone to agree with everything I write. Besides, if I post stuff that everyone agrees with, then I’m not doing my job! Just like I told a client today; “If you plan on doing what you did yesterday, aren’t open to challenging your current way of thinking and are able to see every blind spot on your own which is getting in the way of better performance (you can’t self diagnose when you’re in the middle of the game), then what do you need me for?”

Back to your question. I was very mindful when posting these questions that they may not work for everyone and are distinctly positioned for specific situations. As I wrote in this post, “Remember, treat these questions like a buffet. So, take what you like and leave what you don’t. Depending upon your situation and the individual you’re coaching, every question may not work for everyone. Conversely, since we all looking for new and better results, take some of these questions out for a test drive, as you may not know how effective they are until you try them out.”

So, who are these questions for? Well, probably not for your top performer or the person who’s self driven and accountable. These questions are for the salesperson who may be stuck, either in follow through, in their own story and excuses or in taking the necessary actions to better their performance. For the manager, getting on your soapbox and preaching what needs to be done gets old fast and doesn’t work for the long haul.

Which is the point of these questions. So often, managers see the problem, see what needs to change in order to fix the problem and as such, get into the tell mode of dumping the solution on their people. Conversely, these questions find the gap, or what is missing either in the person’s thinking, skills or resources and deepens the level of accountability that every manger is looking to instill, preventing the salesperson from using more creative excuses to justify their performance!

I’m guessing that you personally, (I don’t like to make assumptions) don’t fall into the category of the underperformer? So yes, in that case, these questions certainly would not fit for you.

Conversely, be mindful that, just because they don’t fit for you, doesn’t mean they won’t fit for anyone or for another person on your team. After all, just like in selling, you don’t want to sell the way you buy, that is, instilling your values and decision making process on the customer, assuming they think and process information the same way you do. You also don’t want to coach the way you like to be coached, because then you’re essentially coaching in your own image (building robots vs. respecting each person’s individuality and where they’re at).

Look at the spirit behind each question. I have hundreds of coaching questions that I use, and it’s not only about having the right questions, but when to use them and with whom that makes the difference.

Does this make more sense now? Let me know!

Tags: coaching for managers, coaching salespeople, Executive Coaching, management coach training, management tips, Sales Management

PODCAST: Want Full Accountability Within Your Team? Coaching People to Become More Accountable

Jun 8, 2009 American Entitlement, Executive Coaching, Sales Management, accountability, coaching for managers, coaching tips, management articles, management tips, podcast

Listen to the full podcast here.

Sure, we can’t control many of the things going on in the economy. However, what managers and business owners can control is how they go about realigning their thinking and efforts around how they are continually developing their people, which begins with how these managers develop themselves into the leaders they can be in this new age.

It’s evident that many organizations have lost sight of the primary objective of management and leadership, which is simply this: To make your people more valuable.

There are several issues at work that inhibit the manager’s ability to get their people to be more accountable around their goals.

This falls on deaf ears because for someone to truly internalize this message and make it real for them, they must hear the consequence in their own words, through their own voice and arrive at the consequence on their own. They need to recognize it, say it and declare ownership around it.

And the only way to do this is by asking them better consequential questions. In this podcast, I’ll share with you the steps you can take to coach people to become more accountable around their job and their goals, and the questions you can use to achieve this critical objective. (Oh, and did I mention that by following this process, you no longer have to be positioned as the bad guy!)

Listen to the full podcast here.

Tags: conflict resolution, confrontation, deal with conflict, Executive Coaching, full accountability, management tips, Sales Coaching, sales management coaching

Get Your Free Copy of Leadership Mojo and Get Your Sales Team Selling More

Feb 18, 2009 Books by Keith Rosen, Business Coaching, Career Advice, Executive Coaching, How to Manage Your Team, Sales Management, articles on leadership, coaching for managers, management articles, management tips, training for managers

I have something timely and special I want to share with you. It’s a new guide I’ve developed entitled, Leadership Mojo. And today, I’m giving it away for free because in this economic climate, every great leader and manager needs their mojo to get their sales team selling more than ever before.

Learn what you can do to coach your team to sell more during new and more challenging times. As a complement to my award winning book, Coaching Salespeople into Sales Champions, I’ve put together Leadership Mojo; a compilation of thoughts, ideas and strategies on the new discipline of leadership and what it takes to coach your sales team into high performing sales champions.

You may be wondering why I’m giving this away for free. Well, since every competitive edge counts today, I want to do to my part in supporting you during more challenging times.

Tap into over one hundred pages filled with dozens of timely and practical tips to:

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IMPORTANT NOTE: To ensure you receive the instructions and link to download your free copy, please make sure you have the email address mojo@profitbuilders.com in your safe sender/recipient list to avoid our email being deleted or flagged as spam. If you don’t receive our email within 24 hours, then please send a second email to the same address with the words “Second Request” in the subject line so that we can assist you.

For more information on this new eguide, click here and get your mojo.

Tags: career coaching, Executive Coaching, managent tips, Sales Coaching, save your job

Winner of the 2009 Stevie Award for Sales Eduction Leader of the Year

Feb 16, 2009 Books, Business Tools, Executive Coaching, Interviews, Live Events, Sales Coaching, Sales Management, Sales Training, management articles, sales articles

The other day, results were announced in the 3rd annual Stevie® Awards for Sales and Customer Service, an international competition recognizing excellence in customer service and sales. Stevie Award winners were announced during a gala awards dinner at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas.

I’m excited and humbly appreciative of winning the 2009 Stevie Award and being recognized as the Sales Education Leader of the Year. To me, this is not only an honor but a responsibility I have to you. I look forward to continually earn the right to hold this title and further my commitment to support sales executives, managers and salespeople world wide through my writing, training and coaching. And today, distinguishing and positioning yourself as an invaluable part of your organization is more essential than ever. This can only be achieved by developing yourself into the sales leader you can be.

Below is the ‘official’ press release.

KEITH ROSEN WINS 2009 STEVIE AWARD FOR SALES EDUCATION LEADER OF THE YEAR

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA – February 10, 2009 – Keith Rosen was presented with a Stevie® Award for Sales Education Leader of the Year in the third annual Stevie Awards for Sales & Customer Service.

The awards are presented by the Stevie Awards, which organizes several of the world’s leading business awards shows including the prestigious American Business Awards.

Nicknamed the Stevies for the Greek word “crowned,” winners were announced during a gala banquet on Monday, February 9 at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas. Nominated customer service and sales executives from the U.S.A. and several other countries attended.

More than 500 entries from companies of all sizes and in virtually every industry were submitted to this year’s competition. There are 27 categories for customer service professionals, including an Award for Innovation in Customer Service and Customer Service Department of the Year; as well as categories for sales professionals, ranging from Sales Education Leader of the Year, to Sales Training Program of the Year to Sales Department of the Year.

The Executive Sales Coach and sales strategist for many of the top sales and executive teams in the country, Keith Rosen has written several best selling books, including the award winning Coaching Salespeople into Sales Champions. This book was recently named the 2008 Sales Leadership Book of the Year and received a gold medal at the Sales Books Awards just last month; a perfect complement to the award Keith has won here at the Stevie Awards.

Members of the Awards’ Board of Distinguished Judges & Advisors and their staffs selected Stevie Award winners from among the Finalists. Finalists were chosen by business professionals worldwide during preliminary judging.

“This year’s honorees demonstrate that even in challenging economic times, it’s possible for organizations to continue to shine in sales and customer service, the two most important functions in business: acquiring and keeping customers,” said Michael Gallagher, president of the Stevie Awards.

Details about the Stevie Awards for Sales & Customer Service and the list of honorees in all categories are available at stevieawards.com/sales.

About The Stevie Awards
Stevie Awards are conferred in four programs: The American Business Awards, The International Business Awards, The Stevie Awards for Women in Business, and The Stevie Awards for Sales & Customer Service. Honoring organizations of all types and sizes and the people behind them, the Stevies recognize outstanding performances in the workplace worldwide. Learn more about The Stevie Awards at stevieawards.com.

Managing the Resistant Salesperson. Coach Them Anyway!

Feb 12, 2009 Executive Coaching, Sales Coaching, Sales Management, articles on leadership, coaching for managers, management articles, management tips, training for managers

It’s evident that today more than ever, we can all benefit from a little introspection and realignment in our thinking, in our approach to sales management as well as in our selling strategy. And while more people today are open to changing their ways than ever before which as been fueled by the current market conditions, as a manager, what about those salespeople who might decline your offer of additional sales coaching and don’t want to participate in coaching?

How do you handle those who don’t want to be coached? While there are several ways to handle a situation like this, here are some points to keep in mind:

Here’s what I suggest. If They Don’t Want To Be Coached, Coach Them Anyway

Is it possible you can still coach them during normal conversation without labeling it coaching? The truth is, this person just may not want to enter into what they might perceive as an “official” coaching relationship. Said another way, if you’re a sales manager who gets the value and the importance of delivering effective coaching, ask better questions about each sales call without explicitly declaring it coaching. For example, stay away from, “Okay, we’re getting into a coaching session now.”

Rather than implementing a structured coaching program with them, what if you simply communicated with them like a sales coach would do from a coaching perspective? Rather than come across in an accusatory, curt or negative tone (i.e. “Why didn’t you close that sale?” “Are you going to reach your numbers?” “Here’s where you messed up and missed the mark.”) Simply start a conversation by asking better questions instead:

(You can find list of 400 of the most powerful coaching questions in Volume 1 of The Coaching Playbook.)

Demonstrate What You Want For Your Staff With This Powerful Communication Strategy

Dec 11, 2008 Communication, Executive Coaching, How to Manage Your Team, Sales Management, accountability, articles on leadership, coaching tips, management articles

Sure there are those things we want for ourselves and then there are the things we want for other people as well; our friends, our children, family and of course our co-workers and salespeople. We want them to be happy, fulfilled, successful and satisfied in their career.

The “Wanting for” statement is an independent, self containing strategy you can use at any time during normal conversation. A wanting for statement can be used in a variety of situations.

Once you start using the wanting for statement more consistently in your communication, you will notice how much more open people will be to hearing and digesting your message, especially the ones they may have a natural inclination to resist. They are the perfect precursor to softening a difficult message by first opening up the person’s listening; which starts with the authentic commitment you have to supporting them by articulating specifically what it is you want most for them. Wanting for statements are a powerful tool to reinforce the stand you have chosen to take for your salespeople, while doing so in a quick and efficient way and simultaneously challenging them to bring out their best, as well as yours.

I’ve listed several different examples below where it would be appropriate to use this coaching tool.

Managers, Communicate from Abundance Rather Than From Scarcity

Dec 8, 2008 Communication, Executive Coaching, How to Manage Your Team, Sales Management, accountability, coaching articles, coaching for managers, management articles

To pick off from my last blog entitled, Motivate Through Pleasure Rather Than Consequence, I mentioned that in order to shift from consequence to pleasure it not only requires a change in your beliefs around how to motivate people but also in your communication strategy and the language you are using.

For example, if you listen to children talk, they often talk about what is present or what was pleasurable for them. If you ask a child, “How was the park?” You’ll hear things like, “It was great! It was so much fun!” Children communicate from a place of pleasure, from abundance from what is present for them. Now ask an adult how dinner or a movie was and you’ll hear, “Not bad.” If you ask someone to do something for you or for a favor, a typical response might be, “No problem” or “No worries.” Adults often communicate from the point of view of what isn’t there, what is lacking or missing, what will not be present or scarce or the consequence and fear that’s being avoided by their action rather than what will be present as a result of their efforts.

Instead of focusing on what is not present or focusing on the potential consequence, talk about what benefit will be present; that is, coming more from the mindset of abundance. For example, the following statement implies fear and consequence. “If you don’t make your quota this quarter, then you won’t have a job” or “If you can’t get this project completed within the time frame we discussed, then you won’t be able to take that vacation you wanted to at the end of the month.” These statements are consequence driven statements which focus on what will be missing or what they will not be able to do or have in their life if they don’t do what is expected of them.

Your communication style tells a lot about you, and where you are coming from. So if you’re communicating from scarcity, then where do you think your focus is when it comes to managing your mindset? Chances are driven by fear and consequence instead of your own goals and vision. And if that’s where your focus is, what exactly, do you think it is you are going to create? If there’s one universal law worth driving home it’s this: “How you think is exactly what you are going to get.”

Now, listen to this statement. “If you reach your quota this month, then you will be eligible for the quarterly bonus, or “Once you complete that project, then the only thing I want you to focus on the following week would be planning your vacation and the fun you’re going to have during the week off, especially knowing that this is a paid vacation week.” Notice how these statements imply the benefit or pleasure that will be present in their life rather than what will be missing.

Here’s another example of communicating from scarcity. “If you don’t get more organized, your stress level as well as your workload will continue to pile up to become even more unmanageable and overwhelming.”

Now, here’s the same message but this time it’s being delivered from a place of abundance. “If you keep following through and honoring your daily routine, then you will eliminate the overwhelming workload on your plate that’s been weighing you down. This way, your stress level as well as your workload will diminish and become more manageable so that you can feel in control and start enjoying your job again.”

And just to be real clear. When speaking from a place of pleasure or abundance, I am not suggesting you say things like, “If you just do your job, then you will get paid.” This statement is still implying a consequence and as we discussed, we want people to be motivated by a pleasure. (Similar to the strategy of utilizing positive, solution oriented questions rather than problem focused questions.)

Now, is it possible that some people will actually hear the consequence more and as such, change their behavior accordingly? Of course, and uncovering the pain or the cost of not making a change is a selling strategy I certainly endorse when it comes to motivating your prospects and customers to make a purchasing decision. However, it’s not the typical method of communication you want to use in the office and here’s why. Closing a sale for the most part is a one time event. And even if you are constantly selling or upselling to existing clients, it’s still not something that typically happens on a day to day basis with the same customer.

On the other hand, developing a positive atmosphere within the workplace is something that requires daily reinforcement, often more than once a day. Since we do not want to breed a negative culture from the continued reinforcement of this selling strategy, consider this instead. If a consequence needs to be driven home, then you are better off asking questions that focus on the cost or pain they will realize as a result of not changing their ways which, they, in turn can articulate. (For example, “What is it going to cost you if you don’t make any changes?”)

It is this subtle yet powerful change in the language you are using which can set the tone and atmosphere of not only every meeting you have but of the culture of your company. After all, think about how you feel after having a conversation with certain people. Why is it that some conversations with people leave you drained and some energize you? Because how you come across is created in the language you use. The language you use creates and reinforces the environment within your company as well as the experience people leave with from every conversation they have with you.

Embrace Full Accountability – For Everything and Everyone

Nov 18, 2008 American Entitlement, Business Coaching, Communication, How to Manage Your Team, Insights in Business, Life Coaching and Career Coaching, Live Responsibly: Life Tips, Great Living, Sales Management, accountability, business ethics, management articles

Dr. Marvin Jolson was very dear mentor of mine and a true business leader; a trailblazing pioneer and innovator when it came to the areas of sales and marketing. Here was the guy who practically invented the way encyclopedias were sold door to door and the force and genius that enabled companies like Encyclopedia Britannica where he was Senior Vice President and, back in their hay day, MCI enjoy years double digit sales growth and greater profitability. In 1990, he received the Distinguished Doctoral Graduate Award from the University of Maryland. In 1999, Dr. Marvin Jolson was the first person ever to receive the Lifetime Achievement Award presented by the American Marketing Association to a scholar who has made a career of furthering the academic advancement of selling and sales management.

He’s written a library of books and has authored dozens of ground breaking articles, many of which have appeared in venerable publications and journals such as the Harvard Business Review, The Journal of Marketing, The New York Times and Sales and Marketing Management. Dr. Jolson was also the Editor of the Journal of Personal Selling & Sales Management. The legacy Dr. Jolson left behind also consisted of one of the most successful home security companies in Baltimore called CRIMPCO Security, which is currently being run by his son, and his two grandsons; leaving a strong and well entrenched empire for his family to continue to grow and nurture.

Dr. Jolson’s risk-taking tendencies, assertiveness, charismatic style is what won the admiration, respect and trust of his colleagues as well as his students. I remember, driving from my house in Potomac, Maryland about 30 minutes to the University of Maryland where I would visit with Dr. J (that’s what his student’s called him) at his office. He was the Professor of Marketing at that point, still teaching a few classes even well into his seventies. Dr. J’s open door policy transcend beyond his classroom or office. Occasionally, a student would even stop over at his house to get advice or to just say a quick hello. Dr. J made everyone feel comfortable, even his students who knew very well that the door at the home on Ridge Terrace, Pikesville, Maryland was always open.

I vividly recall enjoying the hours of debating the principles of selling and marketing with him. Dr. J would site his articles and case studies that appeared in the myriad of journals he was published in and I would share the most recent experience I had during the sales call I went on earlier that morning.

Dr. Jolson was the first person I reluctantly let review the very first manuscript I wrote; my first book on selling. Given the amount of red comments I received in my manuscript, in hindsight, I was probably better off giving him the manuscript on a day that either we agreed on a certain topic or philosophy or he ‘won’ the debate.

One of our favorite debates dealt with the level of accountability of a manager. We were both in agreement that in business, as in life you are fully accountable for everything that shows up in your life. It’s one of what I refer to as the universal principles I personally adhere to; one of the principles of attraction. As you can imagine, we also agreed that every person, every manager, is fully accountable for their communication, and that includes the message being heard by the other person.

Since we can control our communication and what we say, and we can’t control the other person’s communication and how they hear us, then we must learn to uncover and speak in a way that the other person listens and likes to be spoken to. Besides, who we are is created in how others hear us. Therefore, we must own the responsibility of the entire communication process and adjust our communication style accordingly.

While both of us agreed in this sound principle, there was always an interesting conversation that transpired when it came to discussing what factors determine the success and failure of a salesperson. That is, if a salesperson that you are managing fails, whose fault is it?

Whether your team consists of one thousand salespeople or just one, the simple fact stands; you are 100% accountable for the success and failure of your team.

Over the last several years, the media has focused our attention on some of the most devastating business failures of our time. People lost their life savings and were financially crippled by the fall of some of these business empires such as Enron, which was run by unethical, greed driven, sub-human, bottom feeders that thrived off the misfortune of others. In the wake of these ethical disasters of mind numbing proportion, the integrity of business leaders has been forced back in the limelight.

Yet, clearly not enough policing nor policy has been put in place to avoid these catastrophes from happening again, given the current state of our economy and the crisis that has crippled our financial institutions and again, the lives of millions of people. Which poses the question, have we actually learned anything from these lessons? We talk about them, and write about them but what changes have actually been made to prevent these disasters from happening again? What changes have you made as a result? Our society cannot be destined to continually be the victim of other people’s greed and their ability to shed accountability like a snake sheds its skin. Pointing the finger at the ones who profit the most from these crimes clearly has not served us well. The fact is, we all play a role.

Instead, we opt to stick our other hand in the fire by bailing them out with billions of dollars. And why not? After all, they’re too big to fail. According to Wikipedia.org, The “Too Big to Fail” policy is the idea that in American banking regulation the largest and most powerful banks are “too big to (let) fail.” Generally speaking, when a corporation, an organization, or an industry sector is considered by the government to be too important to the overall health of the economy, it will not be allowed to fail. This means that it might encourage recklessness since the government would pick up the pieces in the event it was about to go out of business. The phrase has also been more broadly applied to refer to a government’s policy to bail out any corporation. It raises the issue of moral hazard in business operations. (Gee, ya think?) The real definition of this policy is, “Once you get to a certain size in your business, you don’t have to be accountable anymore.”

It wasn’t too long ago when some noteworthy companies rose to the occasion or at least have made an attempt to do so, starting with taking full responsibility for their failures. Two companies that I’m referring to specifically are Jet Blue and Southwest Airlines. During the winter of 2007, devastating weather conditions combined with dreadful mismanagement and the poor deployment of resources caused the delays and cancellations of hundreds of flights, which left thousands of passengers stranded.

Here were two companies, who clearly screwed up – big time. But here’s what they didn’t do. They didn’t run and hide. They didn’t spin their story. They didn’t blame everything on the weather, as bad as it may have been. Conversely, here’s what they did do. They took responsibility, they apologized to their passengers, families and to the general public. They did their best to lay their cards on the table and let us know they made a big error. And in the spirit of good business practice and taking care of their customers, Jet blue offered their passengers refunds on their tickets, and in some cases, Southwest Airlines actually gave their passengers their flight for free. While it may not have been their entire fault, these companies still took 100% accountability for this debacle. They took full ownership of the problem even if the cause of the problem was outside of their control.

I guess the leaders of the growing list of failed banks, mortgage companies, investment houses and lending institutions didn’t get this lesson. The last time I checked, avalanches still roll down hill. It always starts from the top. (Here’s a chuckle. One of the banks that shut down operations was actually named, “First Integrity.”)

This is the type of mindset; one of full accountability; that a leader needs to adopt. For those ever-evolving cultures that embrace change and are strong advocates of personal development and lifelong learning, taking full accountability is a prerequisite for leadership in tomorrow’s companies, as well as for the customers that they serve. For today’s companies, how unfortunate it is that you can still survive and thrive without it. But the question is, for how much longer?

Managers Continue to Teach Their People How To Avoid Full Accountability

Nov 10, 2008 American Entitlement, Business Advice, Executive Coaching, Hiring and recruiting, Insights in Business, accountability, business ethics, management articles, training for managers

“What is that guy doing now?” It was just an odd maneuver. Something out of the ordinary from what would have typically been an everyday experience at the drive through of a Burger King. (Hey, my kids love it and no, they don’t eat this ever day; just a treat!) I was on my way back home after spending the day with the family, unaware that within the next several minutes I’d be having a breakthrough which led to the development of many of the concepts and strategies you’re going to read about in my book, Coaching Salespeople into Sales Champions.

I watched the customer in front of me drive from the first to the third window of the drive through which happened to have been closed. “What an odd maneuver,” I thought, as I noticed that the typical handoff through the drive through window was not in play. Instead, the cashier came outside, headset in tact and bags of food in hand, to deliver it directly to the window. The customer, happy to receive his order, drove off.

As I pulled up, I wondered if I too would suffer the same fate as the customer before me. Then it happened. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a digital timer mounted above the cashier’s head near the window. At that moment, the manager at the drive in window waved me forward, without my food. “We will bring it out to you. Just pull up, please,” he requested.

The manager sent a young man out to my car and handed me my food. Wanting to understand this odd tactic, I couldn’t let it go. “I’m curious, why did we have to pull up, especially when there was no one behind me?”

“The timer,” he replied. “That’s how the manager is rated in performance. We’re supposed to serve each customer under a certain period of time.”

As a manager, is this truly a feat you’d want to be known for? This manager actually succeeded at beating the clock, yet at a greater expense and one that most managers are blind to. Then, with a puzzled look of disbelief, these managers are mystified when their staff doesn’t meet expectations of performance. This manager unknowingly or worse, consciously did his company, every customer, as well as every person on his team, a major disservice.

Is there really any wonder why there is such a shallow pool of real talent in the workforce? At some level, across every business unit, industry or profession, this is what our managers are teaching the workforce – how to skirt and dodge full accountability! And then they sit and wonder why they can’t attract better people into their organization who are fully accountable for their performance and success. Hmmmmmm.

Are Your People Lying To You? Become A Clairvoyant Manager To Get to The Real Truth

Oct 31, 2008 Business Coaching, Communication, Executive Coaching, How to Manage Your Team, Sales Coaching, Sales Management, accountability, coaching for managers, management articles, management tips, training for managers

The “I’m Sensing That” Statement

When talking with someone, such as one of your employees (or customers), did you ever get the feeling that they were not being one hundred percent honest and upfront with you? I’m often told that managers really don’t have a foolproof approach to extracting the truth, the real truth out of someone without sounding either confrontational or pushy.

Instead of confronting the person about their innate concern, the manager takes what this person says and tries to do their best to work their solution around it, even though they know that their employee isn’t telling them something.

After all, what could you say to a salesperson who you feel is not being forthright? “I think you’re lying to me or not telling me everything.” This is certainly not an approach I would endorse. Aside from putting the salesperson on the defensive, there’s a good chance that this approach will destroy any chance of getting this person to open up to you any more than they already have.

How can you tell when there’s something else a salesperson may be holding back from you? Here are a several signs.

Or, maybe you’re in the process of screening a new candidate for the sales position that needs to be filled. It seems the person has a clear interest in the position and you have a keen interest in hiring them but there are some inconsistencies in their resume which makes you question their long term commitment.

If you have ever run into a situation like this, there is a strong chance that there’s something else the person isn’t telling you. Here’s a great way to find out what’s really going on.

Use Your Senses

If a person makes a statement (or fails to confirm or do something for you) that causes your spider senses to tingle, trust and listen to your instincts. Remember, sometimes, just like when you’re selling a prospect, the real objection is two to three questions deep. Here’s an example of how you can use the “I’m sensing that” approach when you feel there’s something else that needs to be brought out to the surface when talking with one of your employees.

You: “Rob, based on our conversation a couple of weeks ago, do you still agree that it would be to your advantage for us to meet one to one so that you can get the personalized training and attention needed to handle some of the challenges you’re running up against?”

Rob the Salesperson: “Yes. I definitely see the benefits.”

You: “Well, we’ve been attempting to get together since then but it seems that something always gets in the way of our meeting. I know you’re working hard to bring in a few more accounts before the quarter is over but I’m sensing there may be something else that’s getting in the way of scheduling this meeting so that we can begin the work we can do together. Is that true (or, Is there any truth to this/how I’m feeling)?”

Salesperson: “Well, actually.”

And now, let the truth be known! Whether he had a bad experience with another manager, is reluctant to admit he is a little intimidated by this process, has a faulty perception of what “coaching” really means (broken wing mentality/something’s wrong with you vs. delivering more value to employees/I want to invest into you because your worth it) fears his job security, is worried what other people may think, doesn’t want to hurt your feelings by saying “No,” or wasn’t motivated by a reason compelling enough that would make this a priority, these are a few of the obstacles that can fly under your radar unless you dig deeper.

Notice the question I ask doesn’t put the person on the defensive simply because I’m not accusing him of doing anything that would make him wrong. I’m not offending him by pointing my finger and playing the blame game. For example: “Every time we plan to meet, you keep rescheduling with me.” “You told me that you were going to call me but you never did.” “You said we would be able to get together for a few minutes.” “I told you I was going to call you on Friday at 9A.M. and when I did you weren’t there.”

Instead, here’s one of the very few times during a coaching relationship that you can actually make it about you; your feelings, that is. Beginning a statement with, “I’m sensing” acknowledges how you are feeling. Then, ask the person for help in determining whether your feeling is, in fact, valid.

This approach gives the other person you’re talking with the space and permission they need to share the real truth, concern, or more of what is going on without feeling pressured. Of course, there are those occasions when the person is actually telling you the truth or simply isn’t interested in speaking with you. That’s why it’s critical to tap into your intuition and trust your instincts to determine how deep you actually want to dig to uncover the truth about what is stalling your ability to create a breakthrough in one of your people.