The Executive Sales Coach: Keith Rosen’s Sales Blog and Business Blog On Selling, Leadership, Managing Your Team, Business and Life » Life Coaching and Career Coaching

Dr. Marvin Jolson was very dear mentor of mine and a true business leader; a trailblazing pioneer and innovator when it came to the areas of sales and marketing. Here was the guy who practically invented the way encyclopedias were sold door to door and the force and genius that enabled companies like Encyclopedia Britannica where he was Senior Vice President and, back in their hay day, MCI enjoy years double digit sales growth and greater profitability. In 1990, he received the Distinguished Doctoral Graduate Award from the University of Maryland. In 1999, Dr. Marvin Jolson was the first person ever to receive the Lifetime Achievement Award presented by the American Marketing Association to a scholar who has made a career of furthering the academic advancement of selling and sales management.

He’s written a library of books and has authored dozens of ground breaking articles, many of which have appeared in venerable publications and journals such as the Harvard Business Review, The Journal of Marketing, The New York Times and Sales and Marketing Management. Dr. Jolson was also the Editor of the Journal of Personal Selling & Sales Management. The legacy Dr. Jolson left behind also consisted of one of the most successful home security companies in Baltimore called CRIMPCO Security, which is currently being run by his son, and his two grandsons; leaving a strong and well entrenched empire for his family to continue to grow and nurture.

Dr. Jolson’s risk-taking tendencies, assertiveness, charismatic style is what won the admiration, respect and trust of his colleagues as well as his students. I remember, driving from my house in Potomac, Maryland about 30 minutes to the University of Maryland where I would visit with Dr. J (that’s what his student’s called him) at his office. He was the Professor of Marketing at that point, still teaching a few classes even well into his seventies. Dr. J’s open door policy transcend beyond his classroom or office. Occasionally, a student would even stop over at his house to get advice or to just say a quick hello. Dr. J made everyone feel comfortable, even his students who knew very well that the door at the home on Ridge Terrace, Pikesville, Maryland was always open.

I vividly recall enjoying the hours of debating the principles of selling and marketing with him. Dr. J would site his articles and case studies that appeared in the myriad of journals he was published in and I would share the most recent experience I had during the sales call I went on earlier that morning.

Dr. Jolson was the first person I reluctantly let review the very first manuscript I wrote; my first book on selling. Given the amount of red comments I received in my manuscript, in hindsight, I was probably better off giving him the manuscript on a day that either we agreed on a certain topic or philosophy or he ‘won’ the debate.

One of our favorite debates dealt with the level of accountability of a manager. We were both in agreement that in business, as in life you are fully accountable for everything that shows up in your life. It’s one of what I refer to as the universal principles I personally adhere to; one of the principles of attraction. As you can imagine, we also agreed that every person, every manager, is fully accountable for their communication, and that includes the message being heard by the other person.

Since we can control our communication and what we say, and we can’t control the other person’s communication and how they hear us, then we must learn to uncover and speak in a way that the other person listens and likes to be spoken to. Besides, who we are is created in how others hear us. Therefore, we must own the responsibility of the entire communication process and adjust our communication style accordingly.

While both of us agreed in this sound principle, there was always an interesting conversation that transpired when it came to discussing what factors determine the success and failure of a salesperson. That is, if a salesperson that you are managing fails, whose fault is it?

Whether your team consists of one thousand salespeople or just one, the simple fact stands; you are 100% accountable for the success and failure of your team.

Over the last several years, the media has focused our attention on some of the most devastating business failures of our time. People lost their life savings and were financially crippled by the fall of some of these business empires such as Enron, which was run by unethical, greed driven, sub-human, bottom feeders that thrived off the misfortune of others. In the wake of these ethical disasters of mind numbing proportion, the integrity of business leaders has been forced back in the limelight.

Yet, clearly not enough policing nor policy has been put in place to avoid these catastrophes from happening again, given the current state of our economy and the crisis that has crippled our financial institutions and again, the lives of millions of people. Which poses the question, have we actually learned anything from these lessons? We talk about them, and write about them but what changes have actually been made to prevent these disasters from happening again? What changes have you made as a result? Our society cannot be destined to continually be the victim of other people’s greed and their ability to shed accountability like a snake sheds its skin. Pointing the finger at the ones who profit the most from these crimes clearly has not served us well. The fact is, we all play a role.

Instead, we opt to stick our other hand in the fire by bailing them out with billions of dollars. And why not? After all, they’re too big to fail. According to Wikipedia.org, The “Too Big to Fail” policy is the idea that in American banking regulation the largest and most powerful banks are “too big to (let) fail.” Generally speaking, when a corporation, an organization, or an industry sector is considered by the government to be too important to the overall health of the economy, it will not be allowed to fail. This means that it might encourage recklessness since the government would pick up the pieces in the event it was about to go out of business. The phrase has also been more broadly applied to refer to a government’s policy to bail out any corporation. It raises the issue of moral hazard in business operations. (Gee, ya think?) The real definition of this policy is, “Once you get to a certain size in your business, you don’t have to be accountable anymore.”

It wasn’t too long ago when some noteworthy companies rose to the occasion or at least have made an attempt to do so, starting with taking full responsibility for their failures. Two companies that I’m referring to specifically are Jet Blue and Southwest Airlines. During the winter of 2007, devastating weather conditions combined with dreadful mismanagement and the poor deployment of resources caused the delays and cancellations of hundreds of flights, which left thousands of passengers stranded.

Here were two companies, who clearly screwed up – big time. But here’s what they didn’t do. They didn’t run and hide. They didn’t spin their story. They didn’t blame everything on the weather, as bad as it may have been. Conversely, here’s what they did do. They took responsibility, they apologized to their passengers, families and to the general public. They did their best to lay their cards on the table and let us know they made a big error. And in the spirit of good business practice and taking care of their customers, Jet blue offered their passengers refunds on their tickets, and in some cases, Southwest Airlines actually gave their passengers their flight for free. While it may not have been their entire fault, these companies still took 100% accountability for this debacle. They took full ownership of the problem even if the cause of the problem was outside of their control.

I guess the leaders of the growing list of failed banks, mortgage companies, investment houses and lending institutions didn’t get this lesson. The last time I checked, avalanches still roll down hill. It always starts from the top. (Here’s a chuckle. One of the banks that shut down operations was actually named, “First Integrity.”)

This is the type of mindset; one of full accountability; that a leader needs to adopt. For those ever-evolving cultures that embrace change and are strong advocates of personal development and lifelong learning, taking full accountability is a prerequisite for leadership in tomorrow’s companies, as well as for the customers that they serve. For today’s companies, how unfortunate it is that you can still survive and thrive without it. But the question is, for how much longer?

After posting my blog the other day entitled, You Got Scammed! The Greatest Scams Salespeople Engage In That Managers Buy Into, I was hit with a few questions from readers, (which I certainly love to receive, so please keep sending them!) This particular blog must have struck a chord with many people, especially managers and executives. The question was, “Why do we continually fall into the trap of believing our own stories, fables, and illusions when we know that, from a logical perspective, they make no sense and wind up hurting us in the end?”

Here’s why. Because these S.C.A.M.M.s are blind spots. We’re just so used to them, we become blind to them. And this applies to both our S.C.A.M.M.s and the ones our salespeople run. Although we can more easily see the challenges and S.C.A.M.M.s in others, where they are stuck, what their core issues may be, and what might be an obvious solution for them, we are always the last person to be able to see them in ourselves. This is true regardless of your age, profession, wisdom, or experience.

What further drives the investment we make in our stories and the fables we create about ourselves is that we fall in love with our stories and the things we think are true. We love our stories and S.C.A.M.M.s! The more we tell them, the more engrained they become in our thinking and our being and the more we believe them. And boy, do they do a wonderful job justifying our position, experiences and performance. The problem is that we give our stories way too much power over us. The more we believe our fables, the more factual they seem to us, further adding to the challenge of distinguishing between what is reality and what is not.

Like the rest of the human race, managers need an objective person to peer inside their lives and help them identify and rewrite the stories they tell themselves, the ones that hold them back from greatness, prevent them from living life the way they want, and subsequently inhibit them from becoming a fully self-expressed, masterful executive sales coach. After all, I know many a manager who actually think they’re doing a pretty decent job coaching their team, when the harsh reality of it is, they’re not. And the evidence is in their monthly numbers and level of attrition they’re experiencing both within their sales team and with their customers.

Whether you’re an athlete, a coach, a manager, or a salesperson, you still require a coach on the sidelines to observe you and uncover the confining behavior or thinking that you cannot. There is a tremendous value to having someone on the outside looking in and pointing out the things that you are unable to recognize on your own; especially when you’re in the thick of the game.

A client of mine recently emailed me an audio file to listen to. It was another coach sharing their perspective around the Law of Attraction and the role it plays in our lives. After listening to this audio clip, my reaction was, from the five story view, I’d say that I have full mindshare around this concept. After all, I am certainly an advocate of the Principle of Attraction – to a point!

I remember about seven years ago being interviewed for an article in a coach magazine on the power of Attraction. You see, while the power of Attraction can have a profound impact on your life as it relates to how you can manage your mindset to achieve your most precious goals and attract that which matters most to you, there is a loophole. If not managed correctly, the Law of Attraction can quickly evolve into a list of excuses, justifications and reasons for not taking action instead of assuming full accountability for your life and everything in it. In other words, attraction without the action to support what you want to achieve and create most is a diversionary tactic. It gives a person permission not to take action and instead, sit on your couch and eat potato chips, just waiting for the power of your intentions to manifest into what you really want most.

Then, there’s the other Attraction Principle worth challenging. Attraction suggests to, “Continually do what you’re currently doing. Stay detached from the outcome. There’s no need to change things up until the perfect opportunity presents itself. And if you find resistance to any activities in pursuit of your goal, it’s the wrong activity or the wrong goal.”

I fully agree with not having any attachments around the outcome. (As a coach, this is the #1 principle you need to master to become an effective coach.) However, this is dangerous coaching to give to some people – especially those people who are very literal. Moreover, it is this type of thinking that fuels the sense of American entitlement that is destroying the fabric of our society.

After all, the pendulum of extremities swings to both sides. While I agree you certainly don’t want to ‘force’ a goal or an outcome, which could be a sign that it’s the wrong goal or wrong outcome, I also feel that if you truly do believe in something, you need to push through certain things, such as procrastination, so that you can do what you know you need to do in order to achieve your goals, regardless of whether or not you want to do them. I know thousands of salespeople who want to make more money and close more deals. However it doesn’t mean they want to prospect or cold call in order to do so. They may have to engage in the activity of cold calling in order for them to get to where they want to be.

If interpreted incorrectly, the Law of Attraction can be used as a diversion not to do these “Have to’s” or “Need to’s,” and can be the driving force to free you up from any personal accountability.

Here’s another universal law. We attract what we need to learn the most and as such, we resist what we need to learn the most! Therefore, consider that the obstacles and challenges we come face to face with, we actually attracted in our lives. And we attracted them because we need to learn a valuable lesson once we embrace and move through that issue or situation. So, consider that this is the universe’s way of testing us to see how badly we want to achieve our goals!

Lets revisit the a salesperson I mentioned who has a specific income goal and part of their strategy to achieve this goal requires them to cold call. What if you don’t want to engage in this activity? According to the principle of attraction, if there’s resistance, don’t do it. And if you adhere to this, you’ll soon find yourself out of a job or out of money.

Instead, either find an alternative method to attract new prospects, or refine your cold calling approach to fit you and your prospects. The limiting misinterpretation of the Law of Attraction would say, “No, keep doing what you’re doing the way you’re doing it before – no need to change.” This is dangerous, especially if the way you are doing things now isn’t achieving any of the desired results you seek. Something has to give.

On a personal note, if I didn’t adhere to this deeper definition of the power of attraction that encapsulates the critical element of full accountability, I can tell you this; I wouldn’t have become an executive sales coach, written five books, hundreds of articles, dozens of ebooks and have achieved the goals and level of success that I have in my life. Instead I’d be sitting on the couch watching Oprah, eating junk food and waiting for the principle of attraction to show me the way!

Bottom line: Attraction + action + full accountability for everything in your life = extreme success!

What are your thoughts? I’d love to hear from you!

Are you toxic? Take the toxic leadership assessment here.

Are you leading your team or slowly and unknowingly eroding it from the inside out? Do you still navigate your ship using old school motivational tactics? Do you have your people living in fear? Are complaints rampant, as well as turnover? Are you spending most of your days putting out fires? Are you oblivious to the role you’re playing in any of this?

Do you ever stop to think that some of the challenges you’re faced with now might have something to do with how you might be managing your people and your business? The rules of business have changed overnight and the areas most impacted – sales and leadership.

How good of a leader are you? Maybe it’s time for you to abandon your role as Chief Problem Solver. Here’s your chance to get real about the behaviors and strategies you need to abandon today in order to get yourself out of your own way of producing the results you need. Then, you’ll be able to experience what my clients do: A 30% gain in sales.

In this assessment, you will find a list of 27 toxic management strategies that need to be abandoned. And for those managers, executives and business owners who take this assessment and react with, “Wait, this isn’t me.” I applaud you. Either you’re really that good – or really that blind (clueless and disconnected also come into mind- well, then there are those egomaniacal megalomaniacs, but need I digress). And make sure you take the coaching assessment to ensure you’re most effectively leading and coaching your people.) However, just to make sure you don’t have your blinders on, feel free to share this assessment with your team and have them fill this assessment out this assessment on you, anonymously, of course. Can you handle the truth?

Finally, for those people who are reading this blog and feeling as if they’re being managed by this type of manager, I give you this warning. If you have any desire to share this assessment with your manager or boss, make sure you know how they’ll receive it – as a subtle gesture of good will and compassion or a threat and an insult? If the latter, consider doing it anonymously.

take the toxic leadership assessment here.

What Exactly Do You Coach?
The Top Ten Things You Can Coach Someone On

I have found that the gap (the space you coach that is the area of opportunity which exists between where the person is now and where they want to be or the result they want to achieve) represents several key indicators or areas of opportunity that you can coach someone on. The opportunities for coaching someone are vast. Here is a detailed list of what you can coach.

1. The Who: Values, passions, standards, boundaries, integrity, and so on.
2. The Attitude: Belief, mindset, philosophy, outlook, or assumptions.
3. The Lesson: What have they learned? Why are the same lessons repeating themselves? Are they getting it?
4. The Ideal Characteristics: The ideal qualities you have defined that encompass a sales leader or manager. (Extroverted, actionable, honest, strong communicator, process driven, accountable, curious, organized, strong integrity and presence, knowledgeable, comfortable disposition, smart, responsive, etc.)
5. The Skill: Is there a missing discipline or one that needs further development?
6. The Activity: Are they engaging in the activities that support their goals?
7. The Strategy: How do they plan to achieve the intended result? What resources are needed?
8. The Commitment: Observe their energy level, consistency, enthusiasm, and motivation.
9. The Communication: The language, dialogue, or communication regarding style, delivery, presence, and disposition.
10. The Relationships: The relationships they have with intangible concepts and feelings as well as with their stories/illusions/assumptions.

Although planning for a great year is healthy and productive, during our quest to accomplish more we often lose sight of what is occurring today. Sure we live in the present, but is that where we are truly living and responding to in each moment? Consider that most of our time is spent either living in the past or in the future.

Where is the focus of your energy and thoughts? Are you focused on making today great or on wishing you said or did something differently at different points in your life? Do you have an internal dialogue that begins with, “If only I….” or “I should have done that because then my life would have been better.” In other words, responding to and “living in the past.”

Conversely, are you trying to get somewhere in the future, as in, “Once I make a certain amount of money, then my life will be complete, or “Once I finish this project and eliminate these problems, then I’ll be happier and have more time for myself and my family.” In essence, living in the future, a point in time that doesn’t even exist!

We often live, listen and react from the past or are pushing for something to happen in the future. To be fully present means you are able to focus on a single person, idea or topic. It means not having any preoccupations with the past or future, the two points in time we have no control over! Living in the past or in the future (vs. planning for the future) consumes our energy and time, since we are not responding to, engaged in and creating a great present.

If You’re Not Present and Engaged in the Moment, You Can’t Be:

1. Listening


2. Creating


3. Engaging


4. Connecting


5. Asking Better Questions


6. Coming Across as Authentic (which is reflected in your tonality, resonance, pacing and languaging)

Being fully present takes practice, effort and focus. Living in, responding to and thinking in the present will enable you to embrace the magnificence life offers today without sacrificing what is most important to you (friends family, health, etc.) in an attempt to “get somewhere.” Learn to master each moment in time, realizing that what is always takes precedent over was and what will be. If you can practice this, the quality of your life will greatly increase.

Especially during challenging economic times and periods of uncertainty, many people spend more time focusing on that which they fear and as such, being driven by their fears to avoid a consequence, rather than the goals or dreams they want to create. Let’s face it; we’re all pretty good at articulating what we don’t want to happen in our lives yet fall short when trying to come up with a vivid picture of what we do want or our goals and dreams.

If you know what you don’t want and don’t know what you do want then where do you think you are going to continually wind up directing your thoughts and energy? Your goals and dreams don’t even stand a chance! Instead, empower your dreams and goals rather than your fears to be the driving force that moves you forward. Once you do so, you will then be able to achieve them.

The question is, if you are no longer going to be fueled by fear, consequence, or what you want to avoid to generate results, then what fuel are you going to use to drive you?

It’s better to find an energy source that will pull you towards something you want to create, something pleasurable, or something that you are passionate about, rather than fear, which pushes you away from what you want to avoid.

For example, if someone had to declare bankruptcy, they probably don’t want to experience another bankruptcy again. As such, instead of developing a clear vision or some measurable goals to achieve, they may operate from fear, driven to avoid this problem (running away from something) in the future rather than making choices that would be aligned with and complement what they want to create (moving towards something). This person may spend so much time focusing on the past, doing everything to avoid repeating their bad experience again, that they forgot where they are going. Worrying about the future rather than planning for the future is not the healthiest way to manage your thinking.

Since you need to add some type of fuel in your tank of life, here is your chance to tap into a new and positive energy source that will enable you to enjoy the journey of attaining your goals and objectives, especially as they relate to prospecting.

What are your values that need to be ignited? What do you value most that would be worth orienting your life or your career around? The bottom line is: Why do you do what you do? Why do you want to sell what you are selling? Without a healthy, motivating energy source as well as a true conviction in what you are selling, you are bound to travel down the road that leads to burn out. You are also placing a limit on your selling potential.

Here are some suggested fuel sources to assist you in uncovering your hidden passion that will become your driving force when prospecting and make you unstoppable.

1. Knowledge and Lifelong Learning. You have a thirst for knowledge and wisdom. You are a student of life and someone who embraces their own development and evolution. You are always looking for new ways to better yourself and your situation. You enjoy the experience of adding to your knowledge base and learning how to do new things that you never did before.

2. Giving Value and Helping Others. You are someone who experiences a great deal of joy when assisting other people. There’s no coincidence that you are in sales. You enjoy helping people solve their problems or better their condition. You derive a great deal of satisfaction knowing that you have assisted someone by sharing your time and expertise with them. You get energized when people rely on you. You seek to serve.

3. Product/Service: You possess a deep conviction about what you sell. There’s no doubt in your mind that what you offer can dramatically impact your customers and accelerate their success, enhance their life or career, or simply make their life easier. As such, you’re willing to talk to anyone about what you do. Your belief in your product is contagious. You feel as if you are doing your prospects a disservice if you can’t share with them what you can do that would improve their current situation.

4. Excellence. You simply want to be the best. Not to satisfy your ego or to be in the spotlight but because you enjoy the challenge of continuous improvement. You thrive off maximizing your potential and stretching your capabilities beyond what you initially thought you were capable of doing. That’s why you love to prospect! It provides you with a constant challenge. It’s the journey you enjoy, knowing that each day you have the opportunity to excel even further, fully embracing the challenges and opportunities that come your way in your quest to become a master of your life and career.

5. Family. At the end of the day, what’s more important than family? After all, why do you go to work every day? What is the ultimate goal? To raise and support a happy, healthy family. To be a great spouse, parent, and role model. You want nothing but the best for your family. They are your number one priority which you refuse to compromise. As long as it’s in your integrity to do so, you would do anything that honors the commitment you’ve made to them.

6. Relationships. You simply love people and connecting with new customers. You enjoy being part of your community. Your career allows you the ability to interact with a broad range of people and develop relationships with them. You deeply value the relationships you’ve made and give each one the attention and care they deserve. Connecting with people and communicating with them on a deeper level gives you a sense of purpose, comfort, and security.

7. Lifestyle. Your life-style is your style of living; the system or routine that you choose to use that governs your days, which makes up your life. You enjoy maintaining balance and harmony in your life. You appreciate the richness in your days that your career offers you. The income potential and flexibility played a huge role in your decision to become a salesperson. You are able to honor the priorities in your life such as your family, health and relationships. You feel that you own your day, which is evident in the amount of time you invest in taking care of yourself by engaging in the activities, hobbies, and sports that bring you the most joy. You are grateful for being able to create a great life and not just a living.

8. Creativity. You are always on the search for something unique, new and fun to try. You look forward to creating different strategies or tools that complement your selling and prospecting efforts. What puts a smile on your face is developing a new approach that will clearly separate you from your competition and grab your prospect’s interest. You love when your prospects say, “Wow, no one’s ever tried to get my attention like that before!”

9. Adventure. As a thrill seeker, what greater rush is there than closing a sale and earning a prospect’s business? You like the excitement and freshness that your career offers. Every day provides you with a new opportunity to create something that didn’t exist before; another new and happy customer.

10. Money. A high percentage of salespeople would admit that money is their primary motivator and why they got into sales in the first place. In many cases, salespeople are seduced by the thought of having a career with unlimited income potential. Before you chose money as your fuel, consider this. Is it actually the money that motivates you or is it what the money represents and what it can do for you? Does it give you security, freedom, a sense of accomplishment, peace of mind, a greater feeling of self worth? Will money allow you to create the lifestyle you want? Does it provide you with the opportunity to buy your dream house or new car, take that family vacation, enjoy more leisurely activities? Chances are, if you explore at a deeper level why you are choosing money as your motivator, you may realize that you’re better off using one of the other fuel sources that has already been mentioned.

Here’s part 2 of the interview I conducted With Dr. Rick Kirschner
regarding what managers can do to drive greater results, better motivate their salespeople and boost productivity by utilizing these powerful communication strategies.

KR: How can a sales manager leverage the power of persuasion to increase the motivation and performance of her sales people?

DRK: That’s a big question, big enough to write a book, so I did, two books in fact. That’s a key point of my Insider’s Guide and Playbook To The Art of Persuasion! But here’s the quick answer. Persuasion is the deliberate attempt to influence another person’s attitude in order to change their behavior. Once you’ve paid some attention, listened well and learned about what motivates your people, using the Kirschner Motivational Model or McClelland’s Model or Maslow’s Heirarchy of Needs Model, or any other motivation model that appeals to you, it is important that you use what you’ve learned to speak to the motivations of your people in a way that moves them, engages them and connects them to a desirable future while offering them protection from an undesirable one.

This has to do with what you say, and also how you say it. The fact is that most people are listening emotionally most the time, and logically only rarely. So, no matter how logical you are in what you propose they do, you have to send signals that help your people feel that they should let themselves be influenced by you. Otherwise, you may be wasting both their time and yours.

There are known ways to package what you say for maximum impact. I call these packaging tools ‘signals,’ ‘guides’ and ‘themes.’ Signals speak to how you address the emotions. Guides make it easier for others to understand the logic of what you say. Themes are a way of structuring what you say to help you stay on track while saying it.

The more you use this kind of approach, the more successful you will be in getting a sustainable result.

KR: Teamwork is an important part of any successful sales organization. How can sales coaches increase commitment and elevate the motivation among their sales people?

DRK: Almost nobody goes to work wanting to do a bad job. Most people want to do well, and want what they do to matter. So it seems to me that teamwork happens when leadership happens, and leadership begins with you knowing the answers to three very important questions. What are we doing? Why are we doing it? Why does it matter? Once you have the answers to these questions firmly fixed in your mind, you can help your sales people to find their own answers to these questions and then keep those answers in front of them as a reminder of meaning and purpose.

Of course, it’s one thing to have a lofty vision, and something else entirely when it comes to the rubber meeting the road. So to keep your people connected and focused, you simply must treat them with respect, keep them informed along the way, and give recognition whenever it’s due, and not just in the large things but in the small things as well. Thanks for showing up. Thanks for speaking up. Thanks for standing up. Thanks for keeping your promise. Thanks for following through. My mom used to tell me that there is always something to appreciate, you just have to appreciate the value of appreciation to find it.

KR: What are the most successful tactics used by sales managers/coaches when they are faced with bad behavior within a sales team that can negatively impact the entire team’s results?

DRK: Most of us can agree that what’s bad about bad behavior is the bad effect it has on morale, teamwork and getting results. There’s no getting around the fact that pushy, negative, disruptive and unreliable behavior is costly because it has real world consequences.

But I think it’s important to keep in mind that behavior is purposeful, people do what they do for what they consider a good reason, and labeling a particular behavior as good or bad may do little to influence whether you get more or less of it. More important, I think, is to understand what’s behind it for them. Then, using your understanding of their good intent as a reference point, you can help your people understand that the consequences of their behavior are self defeating to their good intentions. Done persuasively, and they’ll be grateful for the insight and opportunity to learn. And you, as a result, will get better results from your people.

So what specifically do you do when there’s a problem with someone’s behavior? First, observe it. Notice what is happening, when it happens, where it happens and how it happens. Then get together with the person or people involved, and learn everything you can about it from them. Set the stage by telling them what you’ve observed, where and when you observed it, and then ask them, “When this happens, what’s going on for you? What is your intention?” Next, tell them the self defeating part. “When you do that, here’s the reaction it gets. Is that what you intended?” And the answer is almost always going to be “No, it’s not!” That’s your learning moment, right there. “What do you think might work better?” Either give your people a chance to come up with a new choice, or, if they’re drawing a blank, either brainstorm with them, or tell them what you know could work better. In any case, you’ll have set the table for learning. A little reinforcement, and it becomes their skill for life.

To read more of Dr. Rick Kirschner’s suggestions for improving your ability to use persuasion to create positive change in your life, relationships, and work, visit Dr. K’s Blog here: www.drkblog.com.

When do you know it’s time to quit your job and move on to a more promising opportunity? Here are ten signs that would suggest it’s time for you to re-examine your career path and move on.

The Top Ten Signs That Tell You It’s Time To Quit Your Job

I remember years ago when researching people’s sense of satisfaction and fulfillment in the workforce, the statistic at that time was that about 80% of the people in the work force were not happy at their job. Today, that percentage is even higher. And in my line of work, it doesn’t come as a shock to me, especially with the way I see people making career decisions and the tyrannical managers who they are unfortunate enough to have manage them. The bigger question is; “When do you know it’s time to quit your job?” Here are ten signs that would suggest that you need to move on and re-examine your career path.

1. You’ve noticed signs of selective amnesia. Your boss falls short of fulfilling promises and commitments made to you.




2. You leave the office three inches shorter than you arrived – each day. The constant belittling and negative, fear based motivational strategies can really affect you more than you think.




3. You are finding it more and more challenging to fit under that microscope in order to get your daily dose of intense scrutinizing.




4. You start bringing an oxygen tank to work just in case your boss decides to suck the life out of you that afternoon.




5. You notice more and more that it’s affecting your home life and personal relationships. Don’t yell at the kids and it’s not the dog’s fault.




6. You don’t like what you do during the hours you work. Thoughts of getting poked in the eye with a hot coal are sounding more and more enjoyable and stimulating than the daily tasks, responsibilities and activities you currently engage in. Your job is simply not exciting, rewarding (financially as well as mentally/personally), challenging or making the difference you want to make for yourself and for others.




7. It’s a culture of survival – immunity challenges daily.




8. Your manager’s definition of motivation and support; “I’ll save your !$%&# this time, but don’t screw this up again. Now, go get to work and get some sales. You’ve got to be tired of being the lowest producer on the team. And you’re welcome for my help.”




9. You look forward to sick days.




10. And finally, you’re miserable, overworked, underpaid, stressed out and, it’s painfully clear to you that you hate your BOSS!

Unfortunately, with all of the resources, news, studies and empirical evidence that demonstrates how traditional management tactics do not work, supporting the need for managers to evolve and change the way they manage to maximize employee productivity and retention, the Toxic Boss still exists out there, causing havoc and making people’s lives miserable. These tyrannical dinosaurs of management still think this is the only way to manage; through the use of force, coercion, threats, fear and consequence. So, what do you do if you love your job but hate your boss? Here are a few ideas:

1. WRITE your JOB Description: Not the one they handed you in the hr package. The one YOU want to design the way you envision what your ideal job would look like, including the specific activities you’d be engaging in daily.

2. Set your BOUNDARIES! (They probably don’t have any set or have no clue what a boundary even is.)

3. STOP TOLERATING: Establish what you are willing to tolerate and what you are no longer willing to put up with. That includes how people treat you, as well as how they speak to you. Tolerating is ultimately a CHOICE.

4. Check Your INTEGRITY. Ever feel something is just ‘off?’ Could manifest as feeling, a sense, in your gut, your instincts. That’s the feeling you get when you’re out of your integrity. That is, what you do to keep yourself whole and complete and in balance with your world and in check otherwise = > imbalance in all areas of life.

5. LIVE Your Standards: What are the rules and guidelines you live by? How are you being in thought, communication, activities and behavior when you’re fully self-expressed? Your standards are the fabric of your integrity.

6. Manage the FEAR: Either you’re running away from what you don’t want or being pulled by the goal and vision of what you want to create most for your self in your career and your life. The fact is, your fears aren’t real but your making important life decisions as if they were.

7. COACH UP! Learn how to coach your supervisor or boss. Speak with you boss about how you want to be managed, re-train people how they can respond to you in a healthier non toxic way.

8.Get Your NEEDS MET: Here’s a paradox: The very place that the majority of the people on the planet go to get their personal needs met is at the office. Ironically, you can’t get your PERSONAL needs met at work but how many people do you know who define themselves by their career? Time for a MindShift and my favorite four words. It’s Only a Job. If you know someone who thrives and needs to be acknowledged in order to function at their best, it’s time to go deeper and get that need met-permanently so you can transition to being driven by your values, instead of your needs.