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Archive for the ‘Life Coaching and Career Coaching’ Category

Book Recommendation: Driven – A Guide to Harnessing Your Inner Focus to Achieve Unprecedented Results

Jul 13, 2010 Books, Life Coaching and Career Coaching, Live Responsibly: Life Tips, Great Living


Driven

Imagine being able to transcend the boundaries of what you think is possible and become powerful beyond measure? It starts with identifying your Junoon.

I am excited to announce the availability of an intriguing book written by my friend Razi Imam. Razi is an incorrigible entrepreneur who has taken an interesting approach in helping people achieve extraordinary results.

Told in the context of a story, Razi’s book “Driven” teaches the ancient Eastern concept of “Junoon” as the means to help people find their dreams and get in a state of single-minded focus that makes the achievement of those dreams and goals a certainty.

Whether you want to start a business, learn a sport or solve a major world problem, achieving the state of Junoon is where you start.

When Razi asked me to share my Junoon, it was an opportunity to take an immediate and important pause in my day to reflect upon his request. What came out for me was a moment of intrigue, of inspiration, of focus and of unwavering passion for my convictions and purpose.

Your Junoon is not just the vision for your life or career. Your Junoon is not simply a list of your goals. Yes, your Junoon encapsulates these things but it is more – even more than the declaration of the source of your power. Writing my Junoon was powerful exercise, to say the least. The following paragraph is my Junoon, which I share with you here:

“Imagine being able to tap into your deepest level of authenticity and full accountability that makes us all powerful beyond measure. To empower others to break through what may have initially been perceived as an insurmountable challenge. To be human, to find strength in vulnerability, to deeply connect with people and touch the lives of others in a way that transcends the boundaries of what we think is possible.

To profoundly impact a culture – one person at a time, whether in our community, our schools or our businesses. To live in the relentless pursuit of wanting to serve others. To channel your vision, beliefs and convictions so strongly that they become contagious and echo indefinitely throughout the halls of change.

To be inspired by a mission bigger than you that engulfs your thinking and is manifested in everything you do – to the point of obsession. To awaken the gifts and tap into the value of each person that may lie dormant so they can achieve the things they never thought could be. To know that where this all starts is at the home; with my children the ultimate source of my power-and purpose.

My children fuel my inspiration, my passion and are the center of my universe. This is my Junoon.”

Driven will give you the infinite inner strength, heightened awareness, hyper focus and deeper insight to overcome the most overwhelming of obstacles in pursuit of your dreams. Razi has crafted the formula so that who you really are, who you want to be and what you truly want can work in harmony. Driven will enable you to recognize how influential you are and can be.

What is your Junoon? This book will show you how to tap into your purest source of greatness and heartfelt energy that will drive unprecedented change – and make you unstoppable.

Download a free chapter now at Drivennation.com.

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Coaching Questions Part 4 – Questions that Build Accountability

Feb 17, 2010 Executive Coaching, Life Coaching and Career Coaching, Sales Coaching, coaching for managers, coaching salespeople


These questions uncover the salespeople’s level of ownership and accountability around their goals, their job, and their problems – even down to the way they want to be managed and held accountable. These questions shift the responsibility back to the salespeople who are avoiding it and build in further accountability around their position.

Take a look at the bonus questions below, which are great for those people who may have struggled in the past meeting deadlines or commitments. While the source or the problem is typically a time management issue and their lack of having a structured routine, it could also be a limiting perception regarding how long certain tasks actually take, their a ‘yesaholic’ or they could simply be an adrenaline junkie who enjoys the rush when working on overdrive. So, keep an eye out for some of the symptoms that would support these observations.)

Remember, treat these questions like a buffet. So take what you like and leave what you don’t. Depending upon your situation and the individual you’re coaching, all questions don’t work for everyone so a few here may not work for you.

1-What gift or talent do you feel you are you not leveraging to the fullest potential?
2-I hear your good intentions behind reaching your goal. Can you share with me the evidence or activity that demonstrates your commitment to it?
3-What role are you playing in all of this? What part did you play in creating that (in your life)?
4-How have you demonstrated ownership of this?
5-What do you feel you are responsible for? What do you feel is outside of your control?
6-How would you like me to hold you accountable around your goals in a way that will sound supportive rather than negative?
7-How do you want me to approach you if you don’t follow through with the commitments you make? What would be a good way to bring this up?
8-How do you like to be managed? What type of management style do you respond best to?

BONUS QUESTIONS: Building Deeper Accountability around Meeting Deadlines

1-How long do you think it’s going to realistically take you to complete this task, considering the worst case scenario?
2-What resources do you need to complete this successfully?
3-What have you already committed to that you need to be mindful of which could get in the way of meeting this deadline?
4-Looking at your schedule and your current commitments, when can you realistically devote the time you need to complete this?

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Goals Can Be Your Worst Enemy – An Intervew with BNET’s Sales Machine

Jan 7, 2010 Career Advice, Executive Coaching, Goal Setting, Life Coaching and Career Coaching, Live Responsibly: Life Tips, Great Living, Time Management Tips, management tips


A few months ago, I was interviewed by Geoffrey James who writes the Sales Machine column for BNET. (Geoffrey is also the author of seven books and the columnist for Business 2.0, CIO, The New York Times as well as many other publications.)

Today, he wrote about something we discussed during our conversation, which is one of the most important characteristics that successful people possess, especially top sales champions. And that is, the importance of being process driven rather than being so result driven.

No, I’m not suggesting that you shouldn’t focus on the results, or set goals. After all, we need to have something to measure our success, especially in sales, and we need those goals to help determine an endpoint to strive for, something that we’re focused on attaining and the gauge that lets us know when we’ve ‘arrived’ at our destination.

What I am suggesting is to also adopt a mindset that may seem, on the surface, to be in conflict with the belief that you should stay focused on your goals. So, if you suffer from absolute or ‘either or’ thinking, this concept may be a real challenge to wrap your head around. Since we’re on the subject of healthy thinking, absolute thinking is something worth abandoning as well. It’s not one way or the other way; instead, it’s both. (“Either-or” vs. “And.”)

Those people today who challenge status quo and traditional ways of doing things are realizing the benefits of embracing not just one but two truths; two conflicting truths that can, in fact, live together in harmony. Yes, I know this sounds counterintuitive but that’s the paradox and the source of power for those who adopt this mindset.

That is: be mindful of the future, while engaged in and living in the present. To get a bit more cerebral, your process lives in the present where your results or your goals are all living in the future. And if you’re always focused on the result or outcome you seek, it’s going to affect what you need to be doing in the present moment. That includes the quality of your activities, the way you communicate, how well you listen, your level of creativity and ultimately how connected, present and engaged you are with people, especially your customers.

The point is, once your goal is set, continually thinking about or obsessing over your goal or the results you need to achieve doesn’t make that goal manifest itself any faster or easier. Instead, it actually winds up becoming a diversion, keeping your stuck in the future. The real cost is, you’re not being fully present and focused on today and more important, the actual process that’s going to take you to your desired destination.

Think if it this way. If I wanted to move a concrete wall, does the act of pushing on that wall all day make the wall move? Not even a little. It’s the same as spending all of your time thinking about the goal or the result. Doing so doesn’t move you any closer to your goal.

Once your goals are set, they’re not going anywhere! Now it’s time to shift your focus on developing and fine tuning your process which is what will ultimately be the vehicle that will take you to your goal.

Below is an excerpt from Geoffrey’s post based on our interview. You can read the full post here.

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Sales pros always have goals, and most enjoy the process of achieving them. But did you know that goals can be a major impediment to your success?

Take cold-calling, for instance. Most sales pros see cold calling as a goal-oriented activity — fill the pipeline with “X” number of prospects, in the hopes of creating as many customers as possible.

That makes sense, but it also encourages sales pros to see each conversion that results in a prospect as a “win” and each cold call that ends in some other way as a “loss.”

And that’s setting yourself up for failure, because the nature of cold calling is that only a small percentage of the people you contact will be potential customers. The majority will be people who simply aren’t interested or are not a fit for a variety of reasons.

However, if you’re caught up in the “win/loss” way of thinking, you may feel like a “loser” even if the person you called had absolutely no use whatsoever for your product!

Not surprisingly, sales pros begin dreading it, avoiding it, and become increasingly less effective when they actually get around to doing it.

The root cause of this deeply flawed “win/loss” thinking is focusing on the goal rather than the process. If you’re focused on the result, you are visualizing the future (i.e. “will I make my goal???”) rather than experiencing the present moment.

As a result, there’s no way that you can really listen to the prospect, because your attention is on a possible event in a future-yet-to-be. Because your focus is elsewhere (on your goal, that is) you’ll find it difficult to be creative and flexible in responding to what the potential prospect actually says.

Here’s how you fix this. Define cold-calling as a process rather than goal-oriented activity. Stop focusing on the result and start focusing on the potential prospect and the process of communicating with that prospect to determine if in fact, there’s truly a fit.

Changing your way of thinking is that you’ll immediately become more effective because it removes the “sting” of contacting a lead that turns out, for whatever reason, not to be a real prospect.

Rather than a “loss,” the event simply becomes something that you happened to discover during the process of cold-calling.

More importantly, treating cold-calling as a process keeps you focused on finding ways to help potential prospects and customers – and on not wasting the time of those who don’t need the help.

Your true goal shouldn’t be to make your sales goal, but to emulate an Olympic athlete. Top athletes visualize “winning” (the goal) before competing, but when they’re actually performing they focus on what’s happening right then and there.

Here’s the cool part… the real reason for this entire post. Focusing on process rather than your goals increases the chances that you’ll fulfill your goals.

In other words, know your goals, then forget them, and put your mind into the process. If you do this right, your goals will take care of themselves, because your process will make them happen without you wasting time obsessing on them.

You can read the full post here.

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Are Your Goals The Right Goals? For A Year of Success – Align Your Goals With Your Priorities

Jan 4, 2010 Career Advice, Goal Setting, Life Coaching and Career Coaching, Live Responsibly: Life Tips, Great Living, Sales Coaching, Setting Goals, Time Management Tips


With the timely pressure that we place upon ourselves in the New Year when declaring our resolutions and charting our goals, many people often fall short of attaining their goals or honoring these resolutions. Sure, there are many reasons why we may not reach our goals but before we point our finger at things like lack of execution, resources, skills or effective time management, we need to first look at the source of the problem; that is, the goal itself. In other words, are you sure you’re setting the right goals for yourself?

Sure, our goals are supposed to resemble and support that which we want to bring into in our life or career, yet many times, people set goals around what they think they want, what they think they need or what they think they should be doing.

Several years ago, I introduced the difference between priorities and goals and the importance of aligning the two when setting the right goals. Here is the full definition and an example to make sure that you’re setting the best goals for you.

Priorities vs. Goals- What’s the Difference?

Definition:

Priorities: What is most important and meaningful in your life today (activities, values, beliefs, lifestyle, principles, standards, hobbies, integrity, etc.) that you are not willing to compromise or sacrifice in pursuit of something else (such as a goal).

Goals: A future based anticipated expectation, possibility, measurable end result or experience that you are working towards creating, achieving or bringing to fruition that has not yet been realized in the present.

Comparisons:

*Present Focused vs. Future Focused

*What Is Happening vs. What Will/May Be

*In The Present vs. In The Future

Here’s an Example:

John had a goal of being a top producer in his company. As such, he looked at the other top producers and the activities they engage in which make them successful. The top salespeople are working twelve hour days, sometimes even seven days a week. Thinking, “It worked for them, so I guess I should do that too,” he decided to give up a chunk of his family/personal time and other enjoyable activities/hobbies in his quest to become financially successful.

Although John’s priority was spending time with his family, he didn’t understand why he felt miserable and encountered resistance while attempting to achieve this goal.

Once he created a personal strategy and a routine for achieving his own bigger goals that supported his lifestyle and priorities without having to sacrifice what matters most to him, he was able to reach his goals with less effort and enjoyed the process even more.

Here’s The Key Point:

If you are encountering resistance while attempting to reach certain goals or performing certain tasks, chances are it’s either something you really don’t want to be doing, an old goal that may not serve you anymore (a “should“) or you are operating from someone else’s agenda (also a should)! The bottom line is, these goals don’t support your priorities and you’ll continue to feel “off” or out of your integrity throughout your pursuit of these misaligned goals.

Take the time to align your goals with your priorities. Otherwise, you’ll feel confined or powerless to make changes, allowing situations, circumstances or other people to influence or control you. Discover what YOU truly want by aligning your goals with the priorities in your life rather than the “shoulds.”

The fact is, “Should-based goals” do not support your priorities or personal vision. So, if you are unsure whether the goal, activity or task classifies as a should, take a look at your lifestyle, values and priorities and see if they are all in alignment. If the goal doesn’t support them, it’s a “should.” So, don’t “Should” on yourself!

Benefit of Getting This Distinction:

At the end of the day, your goals need to be aligned with your priorities. Honor the priorities in your life by making them non-negotiable.

Before you map out your goals, determine the priorities in your life that you’re not willing to sacrifice. This way, you can identify the activities you need to engage in and what you are willing to give up today (maybe even a conscious, short – term sacrifice of certain priorities) in pursuit of a bigger dream tomorrow.

When your goals are aligned and balanced with your priorities, natural strengths and talents, you’ll maintain your integrity, feel calmer and will experience greater peace of mind while traveling on your path to achieving bigger goals and meaningful, long lasting results. You’ll find the process of working towards these goals more enjoyable and fulfilling, without feeling as if you’re continually pushing for something to happen. Instead, you’ll be pulled towards your goal with less of an effort.

Once you can orient your life around your priorities, you’ll find that you will actually have fewer goals that you’ll feel compelled to attain or be driven and consumed by. If you design your life and career around what is most important to you on a daily basis, you’ll avoid becoming hooked or attached to creating something ‘better’ at a future point in time, which can rob you of the quality of your life today.

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Connecting on Common Ground: Questions That Gracefully Correct Someone and Foster Healthy Collaboration That Create Better Solutions

Dec 2, 2009 Communication, Executive Coaching, How to Manage Your Team, Life Coaching and Career Coaching, Prospecting, Cold Calling and Networking, Sales Coaching


There may be times when someone holds certain perceptions or beliefs about your product, service, industry, performance or processes that may be inaccurate. Or, maybe you need to enroll people in an alternative solution, a new way of looking at a situation or a different way of thinking. When this occurs, and you’re running into resistance from the other side when trying to create buy in or you are hearing conflicting opinions which you do not agree with, you may react by telling the person they’re wrong. Or, you attempt to fill in the conversation with statistical data, evidence or proof that supports and defends your point of view in order to convince them to agree with you.

Lets face it, when someone is told they’re wrong or their belief is in conflict with the position you’ve taken, they either shut down and stop listening or come out fighting in an attempt to defend their stand. Once this happens, a confrontational atmosphere is created between you and the person you are speaking with. When you invalidate someone’s viewpoint, they become further entrenched in their case and are less willing to budge or move off of their platform.

Rather than react to their remark, demonstrate your interest in understanding what motivates their thinking and reasoning in the first place. Become interested in gaining a greater awareness around where they are coming from and seize this opportunity to validate and connect with some aspect of their feelings and thinking. Saying things like, “I appreciate how you feel” or “I understand your feelings/position on that” lets the other person know that you are sincerely trying to understand and respect their view and what they had said, rather than dismiss it. This demonstrates a willingness on your end to smooth out the playing field, continue the conversation and find a common ground and solution, without becoming argumentative and defensive.

To avoid confrontation, detach from your agenda and outcome for a moment and instead, respond to a person’s statements or comments with a question that directs the conversation toward creating a new opportunity, belief or solution. Questions allow you to correct someone gracefully or explore a new possibility without having an emotional reaction, dismissing their opinion and feelings or telling them they’re wrong.

To avoid the battles that happen in daily communication, focus on helping other people get what they want in every conversation. This is especially important if you’re running into situations like these with the people you work with. We often forget that, while we may all hold conflicting viewpoints, you are still ultimately working towards one collective goal, objective and vision within the organization. We need to continually be mindful of our shared goals and keep this in front of our line of vision. This approach enables you to do so, while acknowledging and respecting each other’s differences. You’ll also find out that you have more in common than you had originally thought.

Drive these types of conversations with well crafted, neutrally charged questions that are not loaded, manipulative, adversarial or have a hidden agenda attached to them. The byproduct will be healthier collaboration that ultimately gives you what you want with less effort. These questions will also help foster a deeper level of buy in and the mutual alignment of goals that you need in order to ensure that together, you generate worthwhile results over the long term. The following questions will enable you to create new opportunities that you would not have noticed before and uncover innovative ideas that are otherwise left unexplored.

1.What else do you feel might be possible? What else could be true?

2.Can you please share with me your thinking on that? What does that (solution, approach, problem, etc.) look like for you? What does that look like through your eyes?

3.May I share my view on that? Are you open to hearing another point of view on that?

4.Is it possible that there may be another approach/solution here? Is there a different way we can look at this?

5.Is it possible that there may be more/other facts to consider?

6.How can I best assist you around achieving what you want most?

7.When did you decide that was true?

8.That’s interesting. Can you share with me why you feel/see it that way?

9.What else is true about that? Is that the truth or is it something else?

10.I’m not too sure what you mean. Can you say more about that?

11.How do you mean when you say (better results, well trained, not qualified, not professional, unmotivated, poor service, etc.)? What does (success, persistent, organized, responsive, more responsibility, a qualified selling opportunity, overwhelmed, etc.) mean to you/look like to you?

12.I hear that you’re saying this can’t be done this way but what if it could be done? What would that mean to you?

13.What would be possible if…..?

14.What result are you looking to achieve here?

15.What is most important to you?

16.What’s the common ground that we share? What’s the common objective that you see here? What do you feel we are in agreement around?

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The Experience of Gratitude and The Richest Person In The World – A Zen Parable of The Magnificent Strawberry

Nov 30, 2009 American Entitlement, Career Advice, Executive Coaching, Life Coaching and Career Coaching, Live Responsibly: Life Tips, Great Living, Sales Coaching, accountability


D.T. Suzuki (Daisetsu Teitaro Suzuki, October 18, 1870 – July 12, 1966) was a Japanese author of books and essays on Buddhism, Zen and Shin that were instrumental in spreading interest in both Zen and Shin (and Far Eastern philosophy in general) to the West.

There is a Zen story he tells that captures the attitude of mindfulness with respect to living in the present and living in a state of gratitude.

There are several versions of this story. Here’s my version, edited in the way I like to tell it:

An honor student, frustrated with his life and with school, worried about what tomorrow may bring, approached his teacher asking for some guidance.

“The story goes,” says the teacher in response to his students request for help, “That a Buddhist Monk was walking through the mountains one day. Then, out of nowhere, a tiger appears, chasing the monk towards the edge of a cliff. The monk, in his quest to escape the tiger, runs to the edge of the cliff and climbs over the side, where he sees five other tigers 15 feet below him, waiting to eat him.

So the monk is just hanging there, holding on to a vine on the side of the cliff, waiting there for the little chance he has to escape or for his imminent demise. Then, as the monk hangs there, exploring his options, he turns to the left and sees a strawberry.

He smiles, “Wow what a magnificent strawberry!” he says to himself. So, he picks it and he eats it.

The student waited for his teacher to continue but it was clear that the teacher was done with the story. “That’s it? That is it the story? The monk is about to be eaten by tigers so he reaches out to pick and eat a strawberry?” the student exclaimed.

“What’s the point?” he added.

The teacher replied, “The lesson is to know and embrace the experience of being alive. You must be alive every second you are alive.”

The student responded, “But teacher, everyone is alive when they are alive.”

“No,” said the teacher. “It’s the experience of being alive in each moment, in each experience, good and bad. We must be alive every second we are alive and not simply exist and live out our days.”

The student, confused, questioned his teacher, asking, “But everyone alive is alive, aren’t they?” he insisted.

“No. Look at you now,” explained the teacher. “You are running around being chased by tigers, consumed with your thoughts of how it could be better, how you could be better if only things were different. Yet, you have shared with me over the past year several difficult situations, in addition to the circumstances that I have observed, how you were about to be eaten by tigers and how you have been saved in each situation. You can’t be alive if you are living in fear and if you’re living in fear you can’t see and experience life; the magnificence of your life that is right in front of you in each moment.”

The teacher asked, “Are you running around, grinning over the feeling of being the luckiest, most fortunate and appreciative person in the world because of what IS present in your life today, or are you consumed with fear, what you DON’T have in your life or what may possibly happen some time in the future?”

The student thought for a moment, looked up at his teacher, smiled, and continued on with his day……

So, what magnificent strawberries do you have in your life? Stop, look around. There they are. Right in front of you. Your health, your family, your children, your job, a hobby, a sport, your natural gifts or talents, even the people in your life. Pick one today. Relish every bite.

After all, what’s the purpose of eating a strawberry? To get to the end or to savor and enjoy every delicious bite?

During this holiday season, I hope you can experience the sense of gratitude for what is around you and a deeper appreciation for is in your life today. Balance being in the present moment today while managing your goals and dreams, without living in them, which then takes you into the future. Live every day with a sense of gratitude, and you’ll be the richest person in the world.

Wishing you and your family a healthy, appreciative and enjoyable holiday season.

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What Did You Learn Today? To Accelerate Growth, Embrace Learning as a Lifestyle

Nov 24, 2009 Career Advice, Executive Coaching, Life Coaching and Career Coaching, Live Responsibly: Life Tips, Great Living, Sales Coaching, accountability


Many of us consider learning the act of acquiring new information. The fact is, learning happens every moment of our lives. It isn’t just about assimilating knowledge but recognizing the lesson in every experience, even the value in every message that each person shares with us, growing from it and moving onto a more productive path.

While we draw into our life that which we need to learn, we often resist the lessons in front of us, since we may associate “learning the lesson” either as a result of doing something wrong (often from our childhood, for example, “If you touch a hot stove you’ll get burned”) or a task we have to finish. (“Do your homework or you’ll be punished.”)

As adults, this feeling fostered in our youth perpetuates, often blinding us to the valuable lessons and experiences that show up simply because we’ve been taught to resist them rather than embrace them.

When you are faced with a challenge or an upset, do you tackle it head on or have tendency to avoid them hoping they’ll ‘fix themselves’ or go away? When you’re handling a problem, do you address it in a way that permanently eliminates it or does it reappear? If you find similar challenges reappearing in your life, it’s a strong sign that you didn’t get the lesson the first time around or you missed out on a subtle, new opportunity to learn and grow or act upon a solution presented to you by someone who could have contributed to you.

Here are two universal laws worth adopting. The first one is, “We attract what we need to learn.” And in conjunction with this universal law, is another which makes this first one so challenging, and that is, “We resist what we need to learn the most.”

Consider every person you interact with in your life has some gift or knowledge worthy of sharing. Become more sensitive to the value in the message, without discounting the messenger. Allow each situation or challenge, even every person you come in contact with, to leave you with something valuable that can contribute to you in some way.

Here are just a few questions you can ask yourself to become more connected to the value in every experience. “What is the value I am leaving this conversation with?” “What can I learn from this?” “What am I resisting here?” “Why is this causing a reaction in me?” “What about this (situation, person) is making me feel uncomfortable?” What’s the A.F.G.O. here?” (A.F.G.O. = Another Fabulous Growth Opportunity!)

Although you need the right answers to keep up, to get ahead you need to ask yourself the right questions. Therefore, focus more on the question than on the answer. The question is the answer.

Anyone can have a great day. But lets face it, we don’t get tested on our good days. We get tested on our “bad days” or our tougher days. These are the days when the true essence of our character, convictions, beliefs and abilities are being challenged and have the opportunity to shine; our defining moment. These are the days when we can show the world what we’re made of. So, what are you going to do on a bad day? Embrace the test and make it a great day.

So, what can you learn today?

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Do Your People Want To Be Managed By You? It’s All About Connection – Are You Managing People or Managing Status Quo?

Oct 1, 2009 Communication, Life Coaching and Career Coaching, accountability, articles on leadership, coaching for managers


I was sitting in a hotel restaurant having breakfast and preparing myself for a day of back to back meetings. While I was working on my iPhone, a waitress came over and introduced herself. “Hi, I’m Maya and I will be your server this morning. May I get you something to drink?” she inquired. We’ve all heard this question a thousand times when dining at a restaurant. But for some reason, the way she asked me was different. “Let’s start out with some coffee and orange juice,” I said. “Great!” she replied enthusiastically. “I’ll get that for you right away and will be back to take your order.”

“That’s what it was!” I thought to myself. She was smiling. “Big deal, a smiling waitress,” you may be thinking. “Waitresses are supposed to smile. This doesn’t sound like something that’s so incredibly noteworthy.”

Normally it wouldn’t be, but this smile was different. You see, it wasn’t like one of those smiles you’re forced to put on when talking with customers, but a truly authentic smile. I could tell because it was coming from the inside. This woman was genuinely happy. “Okay, duly noted and dismissed.” I acknowledged the observation, yet felt compelled to get back to my e-mails as quickly as possible, before the coffee and food came.

Maya returned a few minutes later with my beverages and took my order. “Another one out and 20 more to go,” I thought. I had just hit the Send button on the fourth e-mail I managed to respond to before someone else came over to my table and began talking to me. “Good morning!” a friendly voice said. This time, it wasn’t the waitress, but someone else who worked at the restaurant. A middle-aged woman had intentionally stopped at my table rather than continuing to walk by. I returned her smile and wished her a hearty good morning as well. I wanted to get back to my e-mails. Apparently, this was not part of her agenda. She didn’t let me.

“I love your glasses,” she said.

“Thank you,” I answered quickly, doing my best to be polite while trying to let her know I was a bit busy, knee-deep in my daily dose of morning e-mails. “Couldn’t she see I was working?” I thought to myself. I sensed myself getting a little annoyed that my daily regimen was being disrupted, then challenged that feeling for a moment. In a world where we need to question people’s motives, was this person being truly sincere? I gave her the benefit of the doubt and began to further engage her in conversation. She had made herself more comfortable, leaning next to the booth beside me, obviously eager for a conversation with me.

“So, are you here on business?”

“Yes,” still convinced I could cut this conversation short, until she formally introduced herself and proceeded to talk about her children. When that happens, I can’t help but be interested.

“By the way, I’m Tracy. I manage this restaurant. Where are you from?”

I put my iPhone down, surrendering to Tracy’s persistence in wanting to have a dialogue. “New York.”

“Oh, what a fun place to visit. I have two girls. It’s my youngest one who goes to college out east. She’s in her second year at Cornell. We had a chance to go into Manhattan when we were visiting her at school.”

“My oldest daughter is about to graduate from UCLA and has already started the job interview process.” Tracy continued, but with a different tone in her voice. “It is so tough out there to find a job that you not only love to do but can make a good living doing it.” I could not only hear concern in her voice but I could see it in her eyes: the concern and protective instincts only a mother could project when worrying about her children.

At this point, my iPhone was back in my coat pocket, and I was practically ready for my second cup of coffee as Tracy continued telling me about her kids. Tracy had enrolled me in a conversation with her, but it was more than just a friendly exchange of words and pleasantries. Tracy and I were connecting.

“I just don’t get it,” Tracy shared, allowing her frustrations to surface. “These companies want to hire someone with a great education and experience. But other than holding some entry-level positions or finding a great internship, where are you going to get the experience if you can’t get an opportunity to learn on the job and prove what you’re capable of doing? They all say she has what it takes, except the experience.”

I looked Tracy in the eye and said, “Tracy, I completely understand how you feel. However, I want you to know, your daughters will do just fine. They’re not only going to make it, they are going to thrive. I know it.”

My comment must have reinforced or reminded Tracy about the peace of mind and confidence she always had about her kids. “Thank you, Keith, but how do you know they’ll be just fine? How can you say that with such certainty?”

I smiled at Tracy and asked her a question I already knew the answer to. “Tracy, are your children anything like you?”

She thought for a moment and smiled, “Why, yes, they are very much like me. My husband says they get their drive and bubbly enthusiasm from my side of the family.”

“Tracy, your daughters are very lucky to have a mom like you. And if they sell themselves, that is, come across the way you do and share who they are naturally, people will notice the gifts, value, and talents they can bring to any position they apply for.”

“Oh, you are so sweet for saying that. Thank you.” Tracy’s response was heartfelt. I could tell that she really listened to what I said and took it in rather than hearing my observation on a superficial level and dismissing it.

Tracy and I continued our discussion for another few minutes until she got called away by the hostess to handle an issue with another customer. I turned back to finish my breakfast. It had cooled off since the waitress came by and served it during the time I was talking with Tracy. But it was worth it. Yes, I made a difference that morning in someone’s life.

As Tracy walked away, I glanced around the restaurant. Now that I was out of my head, or should I say, out of my iPhone, I started noticing more of what was happening around me than I had when I first walked into the restaurant that morning. I took a visual inventory of each person working in that restaurant. It was not just Tracy and Maya who were smiling. Everyone who worked there was smiling. The two hostesses at the front entrance were smiling, even if there were no guests for them to greet at the moment. Every busboy, waiter, and waitress was smiling, whether they were taking an order, serving a meal, or walking back to the kitchen where nobody could see them (unless you were like me and were purposely looking).

Everything is relevant and every conversation you have is of vital importance. Even though some may seem trivial to you, each is deeply influential when compounded over time.

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My Meeting with Zig Ziglar – A Timeless Message Regarding the True Definition of Success and How to Achieve It

Jun 11, 2009 American Entitlement, Career Advice, Executive Coaching, How To Close The Sale, Insights in Business, Life Coaching and Career Coaching, Live Responsibly: Life Tips, Great Living, Prospecting, Cold Calling and Networking, Sales Coaching, Sales Management, Videos, accountability, articles on leadership, management tips, training for managers


Zig Ziglar and Keith Rosen

About 25 years ago, I read my first book on selling. It was, The Secrets of Closing the Sale. Like many sales and business professionals, this was the first book that I was ever exposed to which focused on the subject and the art of selling. 25 years later, I had the distinct pleasure of sitting down and meeting with the master of selling and personal development, the often imitated but never duplicated, Zig Ziglar.

Now, if you’re in sales or a self help junkie, you know who Zig Ziglar is. (If not, you’re either someone who hasn’t truly invested in your career and embraced lifelong learning by continually investing in your development, you’re fairly new to the selling profession or are just starting out, or you’ve been living under a rock for far too long.) Zig (he prefers to be called Zig over Mr. Ziglar) is truly an American Legend, an icon in the world of personal and professional growth and one of my personal heroes. (The conversation I had with him further cemented why this is still true today). Zig has shared the platform with many distinguished Americans such as Presidents Ford, Reagan and Bush and has authored over two dozen books on personal growth and success, family, sales and leadership that have touched the lives of millions of people across the world.

Zig has an appeal that transcends barriers of age, culture, industry and occupation. Since 1970, he has traveled over five million miles across the world delivering powerful life improvement messages, cultivating the energy of change.

Zig Ziglar’s corporation is built upon the same philosophy he expounds to his audiences – hard work, common sense, fairness, commitment and integrity.

In his autobiography, Zig offers a candid and inspiring account of his transformation from a “too small, poor boy from Yazoo City, Mississippi,” to one of the world’s most highly regarded motivational experts. At the heart of his story are his many heroes who modeled solid values such as faith in God, commitment to hard work, compassion for others, common sense, integrity, and a sense of humor.

“Wow! What an amazing experience. What did he teach you that was new?” This is the first reaction I would typically hear from people when first telling them I had spent an afternoon with Zig and time at his headquarters. So, what impact did Zig leave on me that I have taken to heart? What profound, new and valuable message was I able to walk away with from my meeting with this highly acclaimed guru and though leader?

Before I answer that, (no, I won’t make you wait until my next blog post) here are just a few of the things that Zig and I casually chatted about. (Our conversation was videoed and I will be posting the video to share with you in the very near future.)

• How the selling profession and the profile of a salesperson changed and evolved since the time he authored, The Secrets of Closing the Sale, 25 years ago.
• What salespeople need to do today to ensure their success in this new marketplace.
• What leaders need to be more mindful of if they want to ensure the success of their organization.
• The people who have impacted his life the most.
• Zig’s definition of integrity.
• A message for the younger generation out there, who are working hard at trying to build a successful career and a family.
• His legacy.
• What parents need to do to be more accountable around raising children with stronger, more meaningful values.
• How people actually go about developing or upgrading their attitude.

I was fortunate to gain the perspective of such a worldly man grounded in the values that matter. You would even think that it would be a bit of a challenge to retain all of the gems Zig shared with me. Conversely it wasn’t. It was surprisingly, yet reassuringly very simple. You see, the ultimate epiphany I had, the priceless message that Zig delivered, was grounded in the core principles that are and have always been right in front of us.

Zig reinforced what really mattered most; the basics. Yes, that’s right. The basics that we so often gloss over, neglect, take for granted and assume we already have in place. The very basics that are paradoxically, still the undeniable and timeless secret to success and designing a life worth living.

The basics of truth, being your word, living a life of integrity, honoring your core values and your commitments, honesty, family, faith in yourself and helping your fellow man and woman selflessly and graciously. Yes, the basics that our society seems to have an unyielding tendency to put aside and dismiss in search of the latest and greatest, the next “Big Thing” or the flavor of the month. We have fooled ourselves into thinking there is some other secret out there that would help us get what we want most and propel us to where we want to be, both in our home life and at our work life.

We are hiding behind the guise of “What’s next” without honoring the core, fundamental beliefs and values that make us all worthwhile human beings. As we immerse ourselves in our own thinking, as we get distracted and challenged by the upsets and problems at work, as we continue to allow the media to erode our thinking and our heart-centered priorities as well as sensationalize our deepest fears and insecurities, we move farther and farther away from the person we truly want to be, and then with a shock, we turn around and notice that the person we have become, is not the person we want to model, especially for our children.

Our integrity has now been compromised, and we wonder why we continually feel, “off,” out of sorts, or out of balance with ourselves, regardless of how much more money we make or what other possessions or successes we amass. We can’t understand why personal satisfaction, our self worth, sense of fulfillment and our peace of mind continually escapes us and our grasp, and becomes more and more elusive.

To reinforce Zig’s message, I’m reminded of a conversation I had with his son. When talking with Tom Ziglar, the CEO of Ziglar, Inc., he shared with me so many wonderful stories about his dad. During one of our conversations, he shared with me one of his dad’s quotes which was, “How much better would world be if people cared as much about their responsibilities as they do their rights.” With the level of greed and American Entitlement that has plagued our society, which has only come into our direct line of vision due to our challenging marketplace and the media continually reporting on the failure of so many large institutions and organizations, this message is so timely today, more than ever before.

Zig’s message touches the heart, soul and spirit of everyone he interacts with, especially those who work with him. It was during my video shoot later that day, as I was filming some new training and coaching insights, when someone else in Zig’s office shared another story that is yet another testament to Zig’s character and being a man who lives by his word and walks his talk. I was told that, throughout all of the years Zig has traveled the word, before every seminar or presentation he ever delivered, even as they’re introducing him and calling him on to the stage, he would always make it a point to pick up the phone and call his wife, just to tell her he loves her.

What a better place our world would be if every man and woman would call their spouse or significant other on their way to work, just to say, “I love you.” To this day, Zig cherishes his wife and the relationship he has with her (the Redhead, as he lovingly refers to her in his books). He keeps her on the pedestal that she so rightfully deserves to be on. Again, what would our world be like if we followed in Zig’s footprints, doing the things that really matter most.

When it was time to conclude our conversation, one of the final questions I asked Zig was, “I’m not sure if you’ve been following the numbers on your book sales and where they rank in terms of popularity. So I took the liberty of seeing how The Secrets of Closing the Sale has been doing on Amazon. Currently, your book holds the following rankings regarding how popular they are in specific categories. In the category of sales and selling, your book is rated number 15. Now, here’s what I found interesting. Under the category of spirituality, your book is holding strong at number 3. Now, I know you’re a very spiritual man. And regardless of your faith, how do you explain this? What’s the connection between success at selling and spirituality?”

To that question, Zig smiled and responded with a resonating message that reinforced why the holistic approach to professional development will always be the most effective and long lasting. That was, while skill, talent and what you do is important, it is the essence of a person, your character and who you are that matters most.

At 82 years of age, he still has that spark, that twinkle in his eye, that presence he naturally exudes from a man who we can all use as a model of what it means to be not just remarkable, but to be human; that’s the Zig we know and love.

I don’t know if there are too many authentic heroes like Zig left in the world, and I know he’s still one of mine. And as I look on my desk at the gift that my children had given me just the other day (an early Fathers Day present), I’m reminded why I do what I do and what gets me out of bed each day. My five year olds (twins) came back from school and in their youthful exuberance, handed me a picture frame they had made with the cutest picture of each of them wearing a suit and tie that their teaches had dressed them in. On the top of the frame it said, “When I grow Up I want To Be Just Like My Daddy.” How important our role is as parents, our most significant role we will ever have. That message was a happy reminder of how important it is for me to follow in the footprints of success that my hero has left behind for all of us to travel on.

I am profoundly and deeply appreciative of my time with Zig and of the gifts that he has shared with the world.

And to Mr. Zig Ziglar I say, I am grateful for the contribution you have made to me, as well as the impact that you have had on all of us throughout the years. Keep shining.

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Observe Top Performers, Have a Contingency Plan, Think Like Your Successor: How to Keep your Job – Parts 6, 7 & 8

Mar 18, 2009 American Entitlement, Career Advice, Executive Coaching, Life Coaching and Career Coaching, Sales Coaching, Sales Management, accountability, career coaching, coaching for managers


What can you learn from observing the top performers within your organization as well as embracing the mindset of your potential successor? While this final section may require some more due diligence on your part, it doesn’t stop here. Even as an eternally grounded optimist, it’s just good business sense to ensure you have developed a contingency plan and have it in place so that you have some additional cushion to land on in the event the bottom falls out from under you.

This could make the difference between a rapid free fall into the abyss of career uncertainly and a lateral move or even an upward career re-engineering on your part where you come out ahead. Develop your career safety net by planning for the unplanned.

Here are the final three installments of this eight part series on what you can do to keep your job and insulate yourself from a layoff.

Part 6: Observe the Top Performers

1. Become the model employee. What are the best of the best doing? Benchmark best practices so that you can then emulate them. Don’t wait for your boss to come and tell you what they are. By then, it’s probably too late.

2. Master the basics. Now is not the time to take anything for granted. This includes the more obvious displays of the behavior of a model employee. And this isn’t limited to simply being on time at work and for meetings as well as meeting all of your deadlines. You also don’t want to be caught making personal calls, texting or corresponding to non-work related emails. Stay away from toxic gossip and keep your positive attitude on high.

3. Produce stellar work: Everyone today can rely on the excuse of being understaffed, unsupported or resource thin and always feeling under the gun when dealing with last minute demands. This certainly helps justify mediocre work. Instead, treat everything you do as the most important task of the day. That’s the champion’s creed. If you did, how would that change your output?

Part 7: Embrace the Mindset of Your Successor

Imagine if you were the person who was laid off twelve months ago and has the opportunity to land a new job. How would that change your work ethic? Keep in mind, this is the person who you are competing against for your position every single day.

Part 8: Develop a Contingency Plan

1. Build out your network. Use social networking tools such as Facebook, MySpace, LinkedIn, Twitter and others to connect with the people you know and expand your network from there.

2. Know who’s hiring in your field. It’s important to know your options. What skills, education, and job training are employers looking for within your profession or industry? While it’s not what you want your thoughts to be consumed by on a daily basis nor be top of mind, you still need a balanced plan of attack; maintain a stellar productivity level while knowing what you can fall back on. So ask yourself, “If I was unemployed today, would I be ready to start up my new business, create my dream job or apply for the open positions tomorrow?”

3. Track trends. This is where I suggest caution, as the pendulum of extremities can swing each way when it comes to staying current on industry events, changes and news. Reading newspapers, checking your blackberry or iphone, reading journals and trade magazines; even talking to colleagues is good practice in order to keep your ears wide open for opportunity and your finger on the pulse of activity. However, given the number of people I’ve been coaching recently, I’d think that most of us are probably indulging a little too much what the media is feeding us. The unfortunate fall out of this is, what you continually listen to you start to believe.

Be careful about overindulging in the media and the news, and invest more of your time on what you can control in the immediate moment, the quality of your work, your attitude and your productivity. Because in the end, this is what is going to keep your job.

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